"Great success of the children is hidden in the fist of a common parent's
action, reaction and behaviour "
Seven up-to-date parenting factors which can bring awesome changes in your children's life
Seven up-to-date parenting factors which can bring awesome changes in your children's life
What shows the picture that the parents, all around the world, are ready to give their best for their children, but the out come is totally different. What is the problem and where it is ? Definitely, there is a lot depending upon their background, education and experience but what about I am mentioning here is some hidden reasons working behind these thousands of failure stories of new generation. Unfortunately, the reasons are very common but rarely applied.
The reasons are nothing but an avoidance of some natural principals or laws. What are these ? Get it here and if find it applicable for your children, apply it and make your children happy, great and grand successful in their life.
1. Children's natural qualities and abilities must be developed and used in their professional life. It is proven but still a hidden fact that most of the losers are losers, not because of lack of abilities but because of they haven't got the chance to develop or
use their abilities. Labour is a necessary element for survival and labour requires ability, ability works with practice and pleasure and, ultimately pleasure requires satisfaction. Overall satisfaction means a lot when we do a same job, daily wise. A work without satisfaction means a work being done by force or without interest. Can anyone continue his job in such a situation properly, happily and in a great way ? I have again a simple question here. Do you understand human nature, simply ? I must try to add something regarding this. We can define our nature as "our natural attitude, thinking and behavior bounded with our mind and soul" and, All have their own mind so all have their own nature. It reflects from our all mental and physical activities as our action, reaction, attitude, behavior and thoughts. I would remind you again that nature varies person to person that is why each person has one's own unique character and accordingly each has one's own skill, ability and qualities.
one's inherent qualities that is always similar to one's nature.
Hobby is a pain when someone can't it attain ..
Pleasure, when someone has some time for it, leisure..
and Haven, when someone's hobby is his profession .
Our nature is always pure and natural( gifted by God) and that is why our different personal skills and qualities are also natural. And, when somebody gets the chance to use and improve his natural skills and abilities, those become his specific strength or competence. And when a fortunate person gets the chance to practice and develop his specific strength, it converts into his specialized strength. when a person performs with his specialized strength or competence, nobody can beat him to go on and on.
We should, additionally, observe here that when a person is given a job against his nature and ability, either he has to struggle more than others or he quits the job and, if he continues behind some reasons, the result shows everything. Unfortunately, most of the people know this fact but don't apply it because most of them can not forecast the real outcome.
Ultimately, when you find this fact as a fact, beware yourself. If you want to make your child more satisfied and cheerful in his life, recognize his/her specific natural abilities and skills carefully in time. Let him to chose his own way and just make a little support for him. What he will achieve will much and more by your imagination.Our nature is always pure and natural( gifted by God) and that is why our different personal skills and qualities are also natural. And, when somebody gets the chance to use and improve his natural skills and abilities, those become his specific strength or competence. And when a fortunate person gets the chance to practice and develop his specific strength, it converts into his specialized strength. when a person performs with his specialized strength or competence, nobody can beat him to go on and on.We should, additionally, observe here that when a person is given a job against his nature and ability, either he has to struggle more than others or he quits the job and, if he continues behind some reasons, the result shows everything. Unfortunately, most of the people know this fact but don't apply it because most of them can not forecast the real outcome. Ultimately, when you find this fact as a fact, beware yourself. If you want to make your child more satisfied and cheerful in his life, recognize his/her specific natural abilities and skills carefully in time. Let him to chose his own way and just make a little support for him. What he will achieve will much and more by your imagination.
2. Making your child 100% perfect is a killing factor... It may be a great thought to get your child achieved a great success but you must know this fact, most of the parents who experiment it, become big failure to make their children successful.
Most of the successful people have not succeeded because of their 100% perfection, they are successful because they have developed and used their limited but whole God gifted abilities at different level.
People say in common, -A man can do everything if he is determined well.Is it right in practice ? what do you say ? as per my opinion, this concept is 100% wrong. It's right to say that everything is possible for human beings but it doesn't mean that every man can do everything.No man can do every thing in the whole world even with strict determination.
are you relay getting that, what i mean ? Take an example - Ram, Shyam and Mohan are friends. Ram is an introvert and artistic boy so he is excellent in drawing and painting. Shyam is a strong and tall extrovert boy who plays Cricket at state level when Mohan is an average height but sharp minded student always stands first in the class.Do you think that all these boys should be excellent in all these skills. It's impossible but unfortunately some parents compare their children from other children, complain and make negative criticism without knowing the fact. And the fact is not more than this -
- Recognize the inherent qualities and limitations of your child, first.
- don't criticize them for their limitations.
- Support him to use and improvise his best skills up to 100%, but
- Don't try to make your child 100% perfect.
" A sward and a needle are totally different from each other and both can work significantly according to their specialties. The first one can cut better and the second one can stitch better. we can't combine these both to form one, to lose both the jobs."
3. Using child as a fulfillment of parents’ lost or dead desires is a bad experiment: - We all have some ambitions, and we all try to do our best to achieve our ambitions. But are we all become succeeded to achieve what we wish or desire most? Obviously not! Parents also face the same situations in their personal and professional life as others. Now, what I mean to say that when a parent becomes failure in his past, being a more ambitious one, they try to satisfy their passive desires through their children. This situation creates two further conditions:- First, what a parent wishes about his children ,the children wish the same. Second, what a parent wishes about his children, is different from their children’s views and acceptance.
I am just talking about the second situation in which the parents mostly try to lead their children by their own ways to satisfy their own passive desires or to fulfill their own expectations. And, when it happens in any family, misleads and miss-track the children without fail and they become failed to use their inherent qualities and skills to make their lives more successful.
4.Take even a borrow to fulfill your children’s essential needs but don’t try to fulfill their endless desires even if you are a millionaire :- Do you agree that in some extent struggles and defeats makes a man harder , courageous, patient and experienced. If you think it’s right I can move on. Commonly, when people have limited resources and solutions, they use that properly and wisely and vice-versa. So, the truth is that when we have resources more than requirement , we ignore the value of it and even misuse it. The same applies for our children. When they are supplied things or solutions more than their essential requirement, they just lead a sense that it’s so easy to get it and have it. But, what is paid against these facilities they cannot understand easily and very soon they start to misuse these easy-get money or facilities. Now you can better understand, what may be the future effect of this over-supply of money, resources or the means of living. So being a parent, take care of your children, do manage all their essential requirements, but if you really want to make your child strong, fittest to survive, more experienced and real independent never oversupply and fulfill their endless desires.
5. Improve a democratic atmosphere at your home instead of being a autocratic king of your family: - When a parent moves around a single answer of all the quires of their children – “No, never! “ What it shows? It obviously shows that the children are not being communicated, properly. Their thoughts, words and exceptions are being ignored and they are being restricted mentally.
What primarily bound a family are faith, love, and respect and which always require proper communication among the family members but, a very low communication and mutual understanding exist in an autocratic parent’s family. We can easily observe a hidden sense of noncooperation and anger among the family members. In an autocratic atmosphere, the children look salient but there is a great chance for them to miss-lead, misguide or even revolt.
So, a parent must be aware to maintain his/her action and behavior to make his family a happy family. Being a parent, the ultimate decision must be taken by you, but your decision should be practical, flexible and at the end applicable in favor of you all. Don’t get me wrong please. I am not saying here that a parent should do everything with the permission of his children but children must have a chance to communicate and share their views and interest to get them feel happy and important as you. What is it? It’s nothing but a democratic style family where no one is dissatisfied demoralized or ignored so, they all do their best for all.
6. If you really want to improve your kid’s action and behavior, change yours first : - It is a proven fact that the most of the parents of early-child age to teenage children engage their most of the time (what they share with their children) to guide disciplinary principles, etiquette, decency, courtesy or good manners. But as a fact, unknowingly, they continue killing their time and energy doing so. Is it really true? Yes! Because children hardly learn to do what for they are instructed, directed or forced to do, verbally. They just follow the way by which their elders or parents go through. And, this learning –principle of a child, surprisingly, works unless they become adults.
A practical out-come of children’s learning-
Parents involve 99% of their time (from total sharing time) to guide or to make various instructions or suggestions to make their children learn something but the children don’t become able to learn more than 9% of these verbal instructions. The practice concludes that up to 90% of the observation and learning of a child become the imitation and repetition of their parents’ action, behavior and deeds.
So, if you really want to improve your children’s acts and behavior and want to make them well-behaved and disciplined, you must correct yourself, first.
7.Sharing your problems and demerits with your children is more essential than sharing your strength and merits :- Why the parents should do like this? It looks uncomfortable impractical and even shameful but it results greatly. When a parent is ready to share his thought and feeling, merit with demerit, good going things with problems with their children, it makes him relaxed and gives him good suggestions and at the same time make his/her children patient, active, more experienced and responsible at the same time.
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